So many of us were conditioned to view our family members and peers as competition. We are always racing to be the best at everything, or know more about anything than anyone, that we never take the time to consider the fact that there is quite literally no rush when it comes to life.
The fact of the matter is, we’re the only person in our respective lanes.
Take me, for example. I am a blogger who blogs about healing and mental wellness despite the fact that there are so many people who do the same—some even more eloquently and creatively than myself. However, I am the only person who can offer what I have to offer; no one else can offer that. I am the only one given the divine task to be named Cydney, to write on my own blog through my own lens with my own perspective and life experiences. I am the only one who receives the messages I receive when I sit down to write my blog posts, and I am the only one who can string together the words for each sentence as they are.
While what I’m doing could, in theory, be accomplished by others, it actually cannot be replicated in that no one else on this earth can do what I do the way I do it.
So why compare myself to others? Why race to the finish line?
Willingly submitting ourselves to the rat race can very easily be blamed on things like capitalism or societal pull, but, ultimately, comparing ourselves to others is a conscious decision we make ourselves. Instead of celebrating our loved one’s success we might say something like, “I can’t wait until that also happens for me!” Or, instead of being present in a happy moment for them, we might spend the entire time thinking about how we wish it were us these good things were happening to.
Then we return home and reflect, which ultimately ends with us feeling like we aren’t doing enough. We turn to self-help books and inspirational quotes and RT people who we look up to, and “get back on our grind,” and think how much happier we’re going to be when we finally get there.
I get it. We live in a go-go-go culture that I refuse to subscribe to anymore. Once I stepped into the power of knowing that no matter what, I am on my own path, I started being more authentically happy for others and allowed jealousy to release the hold it had on me. Because—in case it wasn’t clear—it is jealousy to not be able to hold space for your loved ones because you’re not there yet. This doesn’t mean you should beat yourself up for it, but it does mean it is an area that needs work and tender love and healing.
Jealousy is not inherently bad if you are able to acknowledge and nurture that feeling until it fades. There is nothing wrong with admitting it, but there is something wrong with living in it.
There is no competition in your lane. No need for comparison. You’re it.