My entire life I wished for a group of friends who motivated me to keep moving forward, praised my successes, lifted me up through difficult times, and was equally the friend to me that I am to them. I know I am a good friend—I’m fiercely protective, loyal to a fault, and a great listener—but people in my past have left me feeling as though I am asking too much when I expect the same.
So I gave up. I resolved that I would never find what I needed in a friend and stopped looking. I recoiled into myself, vowed to protect my energy, and focused on being a good friend to myself. Soon, I realized that not only had I attracted the friends of my dreams, I’d drawn in kind, motivated, compassionate, self-starting people who were focused on accomplishing their goals and dreams; which motivated me to focus on mine. I also was blessed enough to not just make friends in real life—I’ve created a bond with multiple dope human beings online and via text/calling that is strong and unshakeable.
I’m learning that my friendships didn’t pan out the way I’d expected because I didn’t believe I deserved them. I also didn’t have room for them because I was holding onto several low energy, toxic friendships that did not elevate me to my best self or encourage me to stay on track.
My friendships are strong now. Impenetrable. I feel supported, uplifted, encouraged, and loved. I have the energy and time to offer these same things to the people in my life. I’d wished for a group of friends—now I have several. I can successfully keep these small groups separate because they offer me different things. I’ve also grown out of the elementary mindset that all my friends need to be friends because that saves me so much time and heartache if drama arises.
Are my friends perfect? No. But neither am I. We have our ups and downs, our petty drama, and it only brings us closer together in the end.
As an introvert, drawing in and keeping friends is a challenge and a half. However, by focusing on being a friend to myself first, I attracted friends who meet me where I am and never push me past that point.
This is a love letter to my friends. I love you, adore you, cherish you, and I couldn’t live without you.
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