The most beautiful thing about working on healing for yourself is realizing how one-sided forgiveness is. That sounds weird, right? Not really. Once you get away from the tendency to endure mistreatment and heartache because you want closure—closure is not something you need or are entitled to—you begin to work toward forgiveness from within. What does forgiveness from within mean? Well, it’s quite simple: forgiveness takes place inside of you. You are the only person who needs to know you wholeheartedly forgive someone for what they’ve done to you. You are the only person who has a responsibility to heal from mistreatment from that person. You are the only person who has a responsibility to move on.
This includes forgiveness and healing from situations and traumas inflicted upon you by people who will never say sorry to you. Whether it is due to narcissism, carelessness, or a purposeful avoidance of accountability for one’s actions, you have to come to the realization that sometimes you just don’t get a sorry. What does this mean to you? Do you walk around and harbor resentment for the rest of your days? Do you scoff every time someone says that person’s name? Do you creep on all their social media to re-trigger yourself then spiral? How dare they live a happy life without you when they still owe you an apology? Don’t they know their happiness hurts you? How come they get to move on, but you’re still trapped in a vicious cycle of pretending you’re fine, getting triggered by seeing their face or hearing their name, and the inevitable spiral that follows?
Honestly, it’s on you. It’s on us. We have a responsibility to heal. If you know that you want an apology, that means you know you are also ready to forgive. We should just knock out the middleman and come to a state of forgiveness on our own. Let’s forgive exes who have wronged us. Let’s forgive our parents for not doing right by us. Let’s forgive friends who have betrayed us. Let’s forgive sisters and brothers and cousins and classmates and the person who crashed into your car and fled the scene.
Not for them. But for us. S
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