If we are to fully accept that our path is our path, we must also accept that our timing is our timing. What this means is that if it takes us eight years to complete a four-year-university education, then we are a person who took eight years to finish their degree, not a failure.
No one on this earth has received the task to live your life and walk in your purpose exactly like you, so there is never a reason to live your life comparing yourself to another person or what they’re doing. Acknowledging this has helped me bridge the gap between expectation and reality for myself in my journey. The second I stopped comparing myself to my peers, the more I was able to accept who I am, my purpose, and the beauty of having perfectly imperfect timing.
We are not in competition with one another. I know that generationally, there is a disconnect between this kind of ideology, because “keeping up with the Jones’” was a thing for a very long time, but there is something incredibly freeing about learning that just because things have been the way they are for a long time, it doesn’t make it right or true. Ultimately, it’s a nice point of motivation to look at your peers for inspiration and put fire under your feet, but, in my opinion, it should never be the reason you decide to progress in life. There have been so many times where I’ve talked with friends, or even my sisters, about how they feel behind in life, and I always ask them if they believe they’re behind, or do they think they are because of where their peers are. More often than not, it’s because they are looking at their peers, thinking they need to catch up or else they’re a failure.
Again, once you accept that your path is your own, you will immediately discover that there is literally never a legitimate reason to look at your friends or peers to call yourself a failure. To call yourself a failure is to discount your journey, and to discount your journey means you’re not being present in it.
One of my major lifestyle changes for 2019 is to stop looking at what my neighbor is doing. What they’re doing has nothing to do with me, and, more times than not, it serves as a distraction from my purpose. I’ve found myself looking at my peers and then trivializing my own passions and desires because they seem like they are roadblocks—I’m learning now that I am not playing catch-up; I am simply living my life and they are living theirs.
Being a conscious, present being means that I need to embrace everything in life as a lesson—not a delay or ending, but a lesson. These lessons have taught me what does/doesn’t work for me, who I should/shouldn’t listen to, what I will/won’t settle for, who I am, what I’m worth, and why I’m here.
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