First, I’d like to apologize for my long, unannounced absence. It started off as something I needed to do for myself and turned into something I was forced into doing due to circumstance. However, I’m happy to be back reconnecting with all of you, and I’m so honored and humbled that you’re still along with me for this journey!
I’d like to wrap up 2018 with something so necessary yet incredibly difficult to do: ending cycles. I don’t really believe in New Year’s resolutions because I believe it adds a certain level of pressure since everyone else is doing them—because a friend is keeping their resolution to stop smoking, I have tostick to my own resolution or else I’ve failed. When in reality, I haven’t failed, I’ve simply continued on down my path while they’ve continued down theirs. While it feels nice to have someone hold you accountable for a resolution, I think that many things that we try to stop ourselves from doing, or want to do more of, are best done alone, enforced by ourselves.
Something I’ve realized recently is, many ways we navigate the world in terms of our expectations for ourselves set us up to fail. We try to set up our lives within confinements we are actively trying to escape; if you’re someone like me who mostly lives an alternative lifestyle, it’s foolish to try to force yourself to do something more conventional or traditional because you are unlikely to see it through. There is no shame in adapting to the way that you live, and this also keeps you from feeling like you’ve failed in something you had no business attempting to do.
I say all this to say, in 2019, I refuse to make resolutions. I will set my intentions and challenge myself to do better and be better every single day. I will take risks, live fuller, braver, and more transparently.
I am ending the cycle of setting myself up to fail. No longer will I try to live up to what other people expect from me—I will trust that since I am me, I know what is best for me, and seek to advance in my life in a way that protects my energy and the gift of knowing I know what is best for me. I will remind myself constantly that this is my life, so I must move at my own pace, and will trust that Divine timing operates in a timeline that exists outside of what I—or anyone else—desire for my life.
I am ending the cycle of beating myself up. I am greater than my ability to be what others expect of me, and I am prioritizing what I think of myself above all else. I do not deserve harsh words or take-downs from anyone, and I am also not worthy of doing that to myself. When I beat myself up, I break myself down, and I turn in a direction that is not rooted in my purpose.
I am ending the cycle of being defeated. The fact of the matter is that after the last decade or so that I’ve had, it’s a miracle that I’m still here. My ability to persevere and triumph means I am not defeated, no matter how many setbacks and hardships I’ve endured. You’re here, journeying with me, which means that you’re a conqueror, too.
In 2019, we will settle into who we are in the most pure, genuine way. To me, this is more monumental than any fleeting resolution ever could be.
Happy New Year!
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