It’s my birthday today. Twenty-four years of ups and downs, laughter, tears, and a fear of the future. I mentioned earlier this week how I am overcoming this fear.
However, I still have a lot of work to do on myself. We all do. I never want this blog to be something where blame is consistently shifted to other people—sure, people do bad things to you, and you deserve to deal with that, but, we also have a responsibility to release people from the obligations and expectations we hold them to if they continuously prove to not be worthy of being held to that standard. If you cannot release people from those standards because you can’t see them honoring the new level you’re placing them at, consider that it is time to cut that person loose altogether.
Here are some things I’m releasing people from doing as an act of self-preservation and dedication to enhancing the quality of my life, removing people’s power over me for years to come:
- Being a good friend to me. It’s time I stop trying to force people who are incapable of being what I need to magically become capable and either release them or knock them down to being an acquaintance, where they belong.
- Supporting me. Even people in my own family don’t read my blog or attempt to be involved in what I am doing in my life. Many people even assume I’m not doing anything at all. I am the only person who needs to believe in me and support what I do. Also, just because I support people does not mean I should look to be supported by others.
- Validating me. As my father always says, “validation is for parking,” and I am the only person who needs to validate who I am, what I do, and how I feel.
- Loving me. I cannot force someone to love me or to see me in the same way I see them. I know that now.
- Tearing me down. I should be the only person capable of tearing myself down, and, to be honest, even I am unworthy of doing that.
- Telling me what to do. I am a leader, and I thrive when no one tries to give their opinion on what they feel I should be doing. I like to live my life at my own pace, and I sincerely release anyone—family, friends, or strangers alike—from feeling like they have the right or responsibility to tell me how to live, or what they feel I need to be doing. This will also keep me from constantly kowtowing, neglecting my own desires to try to please them.
I vow to hold myself accountable and standing by these things, ensuring to make myself the only person who has power or influence over me and the way I choose to live.
This is my gift to myself today and every day.
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