Outside Looking In

Hi.

I’ve been working through a lot of things in therapy lately, but one of the most important things I’ve been addressing internally is the way that things look from the outside looking in.

I’m realizing that I am part of a group of people who give the appearance of holding everything together even though I rarely do. I also give the appearance of having little to no worries because of how I was raised and the life that I’ve lived.

One thing I’ve had to teach myself is how not to minimize what is happening in my own life simply because others have it worse. I feel like all of us are conditioned this way: “Don’t complain about dinner because someone’s starving out there.” While we should always be concerned and strive to help those in need, that does not change the fact that we are forcing ourselves to do something we might not want to do, forcing ourselves to get over something we need to feel and heal, which is detrimental to becoming the best version of you that you can possibly be.

Skipping over areas of our lives that we have issues with, and acting like we don’t have any problems, like people around us don’t trigger us, like the way that they treat us doesn’t hurt simply, because other people are living more difficult lives, doesn’t make our lives any less tumultuous. Denying our own feelings and circumstances doesn’t make us any stronger. In fact, it weakens our spirit, and leaves us open to spiritual attacks and a tendency to be drained constantly.

It’s okay to have a bad day. A bad week. A bad month. A bad year. We do not need to minimize what is going on internally in order to give the appearance of having it all together. This is something I am feeling deeply through the process of creating content for my blog each week— being vulnerable, something that was once impossible for me, is becoming easier and easier, and knowing I have a network of amazing people, including those of you who read my blog, makes opening up seem less scary with ever post.

I’m becoming better at verbalizing when things rub me the wrong way, or when something someone says or does triggers me, or explaining when I am depressed and my energy is low. It’s becoming easier to look people in their eyes and tell them I’m not okay. It’s like a breath of fresh air when I acknowledge how I feel, sort through it, and then decide to move forward, instead of suppressing it until everything boiled over and it was too messy to clean up.

Sort through it now. Process it now. Heal it now. That is the only way you’ll get through to the other side.

Xo, Cydney


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