Becoming Selfish


Usually hitting the seven-month-mark each year terrifies me. When I was in college especially, getting past June meant I was racing against the clock, trying desperately to keep myself above water while simultaneously trying to make it look like I wasn’t struggling at all. However, this year is different. I’m excited.

I started my blog with the intention to heal. I’ve always been told I’m easy to talk to, a good listener, laid-back, and open-minded, so I guess I’d always internalized these things as opposed to deciding if they applied to me. Through this blog, I realized that the healing was not just for the people reading my blog— it was for me, too. We’re meant to heal each other.

Between the news, social media, and day-to-day interactions, it is easy to not only feel torn apart from your own life, but the lives of others. That is where the healing comes in. We’re meant to use these tools to enhance our quality of life, because, believe it or not, you are solely responsible for discovering what it means to be truly happy at the core of your being.

Something magical happened Sunday evening. I came across a printed sheet of paper on Facebook listing how boundaries feel, and it resonated so deeply with me that I shared it on Twitter. So many people admitted to having the same issue with establishing and maintaining boundaries; others revealed how desperately they’d tried to ensure others love by abandoning ourselves. I was guilty of this, but for once I didn’t run from that shame, I stepped into it. Owning the fact that there are things I can train myself to do that aren’t easy but are going to be the best thing for me in the long run, excited me.

We can’t afford to not do internal work. We cannot afford to overextend ourselves, to aggressively abandon our standards to gain unfulfilling companionship and unbalanced friendships and relationships. The poor ways that we’ve tended to ourselves in the past will cease to exist. Time will no longer allow such things to be.

It’s time to become selfish.

That’s a bad word, right? Not anymore. In order for us to stay afloat, we have to be stingier with our time. We have to refuse to do emotional labor for someone, even friends. We must refuse conflict, let go of grudges, forgive ourselves, and throw anything and anyone overboard that can no longer serve us. We must see people and situations in their raw, honest light, and stop trying to hold onto it because it’s comfortable.

Find out what terrifies you about being by yourself and getting to know and love yourself and conquer it.

Introspection is terrifying, but ultimately one of the best and most rewarding gifts you can give yourself. Putting yourself first, figuring out what youwant, and how you want to be treated is a mood and the move. Forever.

Join me.

Xo, Cydney

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