As we wrap up the month, I really want to pull together everything that I’ve felt moved to speak on this month, especially since our little community continues to grow, for which I am so grateful. Something I am still trying to do is learn my lesson.
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the concept of growth or even just the concept of not being in the place where we are in right now, that we blow through learning the lesson from the thing that must change. Something many of us are guilty of doing is thinking we are finished with something or someone and yet we continuously vacillate and wait for just one more time or reason for it to be revealed to us as “confirmation.” Aside from the fact that your intuition is never wrong, you do not need to get hurt by someone or harmed by a habit or situation again and again to learn the lesson from it. When you keep touching a hot stove, you cannot question why you have burns. If you’ve been doing this, the lesson is not found in getting away from that person or situation, but, rather, found in realizing the fact that you are trying to force yourself to go through pain and hurt again and again as a form of self-harm.
That was a tough realization I came to a few weeks ago as I realized that the more that I work on healing and evolving into my best self, I have clung onto my old harmful ways that tell me I deserve to be hurt, abandoned, and mistreated, and so I will continue to hold onto that person or that habit, and work on convincing myself that I can endure the pain some more, so I should. That was not only conscious self-harm, it was a selfish, self-centered attempt at wrenching control from God and corrupting the general flow of life, just because I wanted to keep hanging onto the past and what could have been. The past is the past.
From this point forward, I vow to be the kind of person who leaves things as they are so that I can progress in life and fully receive all the blessings coming my way. I swear to release people, situations, and habits which have been shown to no longer serve me.
I promise to learn my lesson.
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