The Race Talk


In case this is news to anyone, I’m black. In fact, I’m black first, and a woman second. These two intersections of my being cannot be ignored or debated, and so I am always up front about both. I say this, because sometimes, instead of viewing people in the wholeness of their being, people tend to pick parts of them which they wish to see.

This results in the insidious “colorblindness” in which people willingly and obtusely skate around the things that make me who I am, in order to avoid the difficult conversations that one must have with me to be someone I consider a friend.

Do you understand and acknowledge white privilege?

Do you understand that white fragility is a social norm that allows white people to be loud and wrong and still see black people as threatening, angry, or violent?

Do you understand why black people have historically had a difficult and toxic relationship with law enforcement (cough, Jim Crow era)?

Do you understand why you cannot touch my hair?

Do you realize that #AllBlackLivesMatter?

Do you realize being pro-black does not mean you are anti-white, but being pro-white means that you are a white supremacist, which has been the basis for most of the terrorism in the United States?

I have these conversations with every single one of the white people who I allow into my circle. If you do not understand these things, if you are not willing to learn, I will happily deny you entry. I implore you to do research that directly challenges any aversions you had to any of the rhetorical questions above.

In a time where interracial couples are on the rise as well as racial tension, we owe it to each other to have these discussions.

Xo, Cydney

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