Me: Hey girl! How have you been?
Friend: Awful. [redacted] hasn’t been watching my Instagram stories, or texting me back. What could he possibly be doing? I’m so annoyed.
Me: Yikes, I’m sorry, you deserve better. So, what have you been up to?
Friend: What do you feel like he’s doing right now?
No…for real. I wouldn’t lie to you. This happened. Do you see what’s wrong here? The multiplethings wrong here? Do you see it’s wrong because you do it, or because it’s being done to you?
Are you allowing your fixation with someone or something cause you to forget being a good friend? Stopping you from asking how your friend how they’redoing? Maybe you’re not completely into yourself, you’re just going through a rough time. Apologize to the friend you’re doing this to, and commit to being a much better friend to them. Trust me, you and I both know they deserve it, plus a coffee on you.
Are you the friend on the receiving end of this? Who, like me, is guilty of allowing yourselves to be the emotional dumping ground, therapist, mother, and friend to people like this? Maybe you’re at your wits end, or you’re connecting with mutual friends and realizing they feel the same away about this person. Create distance. You need to decide if you want to juggle so many hats for a friend in a relationship you do not feel is equal or balanced, or if you just want to be a friend.
There is nothing wrong with having a bad day, week, or month. It happens! But if you are not in an equal, balanced, friendship, it’s harmful. Balance isn’t always 50/50, sometimes it’s 70/30, depending on how unbalanced it is.
Balance. For once. You both deserve it.
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